Replaced
by Underworld's-Reject
Summary: "Sometimes people, and angels, find themselves replaced and they can't do anything about it. Thing is though, the replacement usually isn't as good as the original but by the time this has been realised, it's too late to change anything." Former Destiel times. Spoilers for S6 a bit.


Summary: "Sometimes people, and angels, find themselves replaced and they can't do anything about it. Thing is though, the replacement usually isn't as good as the original but by the time this has been realised, it's too late to change anything." Former Destiel times. Spoilers for S6 a bit.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
Warnings: Mentions of het; Dean/Lisa. Former slash, Destiel still. Angst. Unhappiness, swearing, breakups, mentions of hell, all the usual fun times.  
AN: Unhappy Destiel times . So, background for this fic people, very important. Cas and Dean were together from like early S4 and throughout all of S5, but the end obviously. Sam made Dean promise to have a normal life, he told him to either 'do it with Cas' (since he was human) and if not, to live it with Lisa. Cas and Dean broke up, :'(. Er, basically, this is an angsty one shot, that has like a time skip and not much relationship reconciliation, etc. It starts during the year, but then does like an overview of some of six and stuff, but it won't be too detailed because you should all know that.**

**/**

Castiel stood at the edge of the backyard of the Braeden house, invisible to those around him, watching as Dean Winchester methodically raked up a scattered selection of leaves into a large pile. Despite the fact that no one could see him, he made certain to keep his expression impassive. However, eyes revealed all of his emotions as they followed the man; desperation, longing, sadness and above all else, love. He had come here about twenty minutes ago, with the intent of talking to Dean about Raphael and somehow asking for his assistance but once he'd arrived and begun watching, he rejected that idea almost immediately. The man was sort of happy here, safe at the very least, he'd built a life for himself and he couldn't tear that away from him. Especially not since the Winchester had lost his brother to hell. He sighed and shook his head slightly. That wasn't the only reason why he hadn't made his presence known to Dean. No, there was another. The female; Lisa Braeden.

About ten minutes into his secret visit, Dean had decided to take a rest from his task of maintain the neatness of the garden. He had watched through the window as the man had gone into the kitchen, where Lisa was preparing some kind of food. And the way that the Winchester had interacted with her caused a pain equal to that of being stabbed by an angel's blade. He'd watched in a state of despair and jealousy, as Dean spoke to her, with teasing touches, laughter, and a genuine, loving smile that he'd only ever known the green eyed man to use in his presence. He had then realised that Dean had genuine feelings for this woman, and was even in_ love_ with her. He'd retreated slightly but for some reason, he'd remained in the garden, watching still. He didn't know why. He was only tormenting himself. He was relieved when the unpleasant exchange ended and Dean returned to the yard, to continue his task.

He had only ever experienced love once, and had only ever been in a relationship with Dean, but he had never experienced _this_ before. The situation was very complex but that fact did little to console him. He didn't blame Dean for causing him such pain, and he didn't even blame Lisa. The blame lied with no one. No one but perhaps life, or maybe the fates at a stretch. He and the elder Winchester had been together for the main part of two years but initially he hadn't a clue what he was doing and even Dean had seemed a little uncertain and confused, but they'd figured it all out; and had quickly established the parameters of their relationship. It was frowned upon by the other angels and was the reason for him being dragged back up to heaven that one time, and the reason for his loyalties being questioned, but he didn't care. Because his loyalties _had_ been changing, he'd been changing. He had been questioning everything and was starting to stray from heaven's plans and eventually started to fall as one, single, human man had put everything he was taught and believed into doubt. And he wouldn't change any of his actions if he had the opportunity to live that period of his life once more. They'd stopped the apocalypse, him, Dean and Sam, they'd changed everything. Unfortunately, because a combination of heavenly duties and a brother's request, it was required that he and Dean split and went separate ways; he to heaven, and Dean to this very house, to this very woman.

He didn't blame Sam, either. The younger Winchester just wanted his brother to be happy, and safe and receive a chance to experience normality. Initially, Sam had made Dean to promise to lead a normal life, whether it be with him or with Lisa. However, circumstances changed and he regained his grace, which meant that he felt obligated to return to heaven and try to put things right. So Dean, in order to keep the last promise that he had ever made to his brother, had to go and live with the Braeden's. He hadn't ever expected Dean to fall for her though, not really. He understood now that he was once again guilty of being naïve. He believed, standing here now, that the Winchester's feelings for Lisa Braeden had existed for longer than he had known. He should have realised it immediately after finding out that Dean had gone to visit Lisa during that brief, horrid period when he was contemplating saying yes to Michael. Perhaps if he had experienced a greater variety of understanding of romantic relationships, he may have been able to detect at that point that Dean had some degree of feelings for the woman. How could he not, after all when she (as a human) could offer so much that he (as an angel) could not? She was perfectly normal, safe and secure, whilst he was the direct antithetical to her. He was dangerous, volatile and frequently had to leave to attend to important matters. Worse still, he could easily be ripped from life due to his uncertain, risky existence. He could be killed at any point, murdered by a powerful enough angel of demon. Fundamentally, he understood why Dean had fallen for this woman but that didn't mean that he liked it, or that it made the situation any easier to handle. He was jealous, deeply saddened and was experiencing an emotional pain he never known before. And he didn't like these feelings at all; it was a terribly uncomfortable mix to be experiencing. He had been replaced and there was nothing he could do to change that fact. He felt as though he was slowly losing everything, which is why when Crowley later joined him in the yard he made an arrangement with him with the intention of destroying Raphael. Heaven and the newfound freedom of the angels were two things that he would not allow himself to lose.

A little under a year later, and Dean found out that his brother was alive and soon re-joined him, taking up his former life as a hunter and leaving the woman, but their relationship was not officially 'over.' Though neither of the brothers knew the nature of Sam's return, Castiel did. He had flown down to hell almost a year previously and worked his way straight into the cage. After fighting with Michael and Lucifer briefly, he had pulled the younger Winchester free. His reasons for doing this were not entirely selfless, however. Primarily, he had raised Sam from perdition because he was his friend and did not wish for him to suffer. Yet he also had a secondary reason, because he had believed that the brothers would have be reunited immediately, which would have caused Dean to leave the woman. However, things did not occur in line with his expectations as Sam kept his resurrection a secret and didn't reveal himself his brother until he absolutely had to. In the long run, it didn't really matter. At least the younger brother was freed from hell ultimately, and at least Dean had eventually taken up his former life. Even if his attachment and partial relationship persisted with Lisa Braeden for much longer than Castiel had believed possible.

Fairly quickly, perhaps as a consequence of all of the hardship that he was experiencing in heaven with the civil war, the angel's hope and patience begun to wane. Clearly Dean Winchester's love for this woman was very strong, perhaps equally to the level of love that he had once felt for him. He couldn't justify attempting to tear that down, despite his pain. It would be wrong, and this he could say with certainty. He knew, however, that due to the nature of Dean's hunting life that something would eventually occur that would either weaken the relationship or cause it to collapse. As he suspected, he was correct as the female ended it with the elder Winchester whilst he was under the spell of the Goddess of truth, Veritas. It was at this same time, that Dean's suspicions were confirmed that something was wrong with his brother and it was at that same time that the elder brother called for him and they all soon received the shocking revelation that Sam was missing his soul. That it was still down in the cage with Michael and Lucifer. Despite his warnings that it was nigh on impossible, and not to mention incredibly dangerous, Dean decided that they must find some way to return Sam's soul.

Castiel was much attuned to Dean's character and knew that he was troubled by all that was occurring and probably lonely, which also made him very aware of the fact that at some inevitable point he would receive a call from the elder Winchester, wherein he would be asked to rekindle his relationship with the aforementioned man. He didn't know when but he knew it was only a matter of time. And it soon reached the point where he hesitated upon receiving any partially casual sounding pray, in case it would lead to the conversation which he had come to dread. However, whenever he was able to he answered each and every call as rapidly as possible, because the man was still his friend. _Friend;_ that was all he would ever allow them to be anymore. Even when he received the inevitable request, he would not accept it. His answer would most certainly be no. He refused to re-establish their former relationship, even if asked to do so, because had no intent of being the replacement for his 'failed' replacement. Nor would he be comfortable with the risk of the fact that he could once more be cast aside, should Dean find someone new, or should Dean and Lisa's romance spark back into life once more. Perhaps if heaven hadn't been in such a state of chaos, his opinion may have been different but this was how things were.

Castiel was once again correct, as the conversation did come but that too took longer than he expected. He answered a call from Dean a few weeks after Sam had got his soul back. Uncertainly, he'd gone down to answer the apprehensive prayer, and had found Dean alone in a motel room; sat on his king sized bed and nervously sipping from a glass of whiskey. This was the day. Dean glanced up as the angel appeared a few feet in front of him and stood with a small smile. "Hey, Cas."  
"Is something wrong, Dean?" the angel enquired, deciding to opt for ignorance.  
"No, No…Everything's fine, man. And so's Sam, before you ask. He's just run to the store."  
"That is good to hear," Castiel acknowledged, before tilting his head in feigned curiosity. "Why then, did you call me?"  
"Well," Dean begun, crossing the room and pausing by the table. He picked up a bottle of whiskey which had previously been sat atop the wooden surface, pouring more into his glass and then turning back towards the angel. "You see, I wanna ask you something."  
"No," Castiel said immediately, unable to stop himself. Dean blinked in surprise before recovering and chuckling, albeit a little uncertainly.  
"You don't know what I was gonna say. Unless you're using some kind of Jedi mind trick, telepathy thing."  
"I am not reading your mind but I _do_ know what you are referring to, Dean."  
"I…Um, well, Okay then," the Winchester acknowledged, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "How?"  
"I have been expecting it for quite some time."  
"Right…Freakin' angels, knowing shit," Dean muttered, promptly knocking back the rest of his whiskey. He hesitated, and glanced at the angel, hurt as he realised that he'd essentially denied his suggestion before he'd even made it. "'_No_'? I-I mean…. "No"? Why the hell not, Cas?"  
"Because I do not wish to," Castiel informed him, his eyes narrowing slightly in frustration. He understood that his response and his reasons would be difficult for the Winchester to grasp, but it didn't matter. That failed to change his opinion by even a mere fraction.

"Yeah, I got that thank you," Dean retorted, rolling his eyes. "What I'm asking is _why_?"  
"It would not be prudent," Castiel said tersely. Though his expression was impassive, his eyes were as expressive as ever; enabling the elder Winchester to easily work out the distinctive emotions swirling in their deep cerulean depths. Pain and sadness with just a hint of irritation… The fact that it wouldn't be sensible, or wise, or whatever wasn't the reason for Castiel's refusal. He didn't know what it was, but he was going to find out. He wasn't happy that Cas had said no in the first place, nor that he was lying or withholding information from him. "Bullshit. That ain't the whole story. What's going on, Cas?"  
"I regret to inform you that I have no intention of re-establishing our relationship, but I will _always_ be here for you as a friend," Castiel said in such a gentle and patient tone that it somewhat surprised even him. Dean, however, was not pleased or even remotely consoled by the angel's equivalent of "let's just be friends." He scoffed and leant against the table, shaking his head in disbelief. Staring down at the carpet beneath him in bitterness and hurt, he reached behind himself and grabbed the whiskey bottle- pouring himself a far greater measure with hands that were still steady.  
"That's great," he replied caustically, refusing to look at the angel. The celestial sighed and took a few uncertain steps towards him before halting and shaking his head. He wasn't going to go to him. He wasn't going to move to him and attempt to console him with light touches. The time for that had passed.

"I apologise Dean, but things simply are not the same. We cannot ever be as we once were."  
"_Why_?" the elder Winchester suddenly demanded, head snapping up in annoyance. "I got the freaking gist of what you were saying, but that's about all I know because you won't give me a Goddamn reason!"  
"You have a tendency of wanting what you no longer have, and sometimes of wanting what you do not have, " the celestial begun with a sigh. He noticed the Winchester's expression harden and briskly carried on before he could intercept.

"Whilst we were all attempting to stop the apocalypse, you wanted someone whom was almost invulnerable, who could protect you and your brother and who you could love without the concern of easily losing them. You also wanted someone…Different, particularly near the end of the battle. You wanted someone who you could be everything with, someone human, normal. Hence why you visited Lisa when you were contemplating saying yes to Michael, because you recognised it in her," he paused briefly, his gaze unconsciously slipping to the maroon plush carpet beneath their feet. "She gave you so much that I cannot." Dean stared at him for a few moments. He tried to speak but the words unravelled before they escaped his mouth. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat and tried again.

"Cas, No. That's…That's not true. I didn't even want to be with her! I wanted to be you. I _want_ to be with yo-"  
"Do not lie, Dean," Castiel interrupted, raising his gaze to give the man a glare. "Do not tell me that you never wanted to be with her. I have seen the pair of you interact, I am aware that your feelings for her are real and strong."  
"Fine…You're right," the elder Winchester admitted, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He was too bloody stressed out and messed up right now to even care that this was all a major chick flick moment. "They're also 'real and strong' for you, you know that. As I said, I don't want her anymore."  
"That is a lie. Also, you do not truly wish to be with me either. If anything, you favour what I represent, especially in times of darkness and hardship. Now, just like before, you find yourself wishing for someone who cannot easily be ripped away from you. I am sorry, but you will have to find someone else this time, Dean," Castiel said, tone void of emotion as he once again looked away from the man."  
"Cas, listen to me, okay? Me and Lisa…We're over. Trust me, we're about as over as…As John Bonham is! I swear, dude."  
"Just as we were over, as soon as you truly fell for her," the angel acknowledged firmly, ignoring the reference that he didn't understand, nor currently care to.  
"No-" Dean cut himself off as the angel disappeared before he'd even finished speaking. In one brisk move, he knocked back the rest of his whiskey, ignoring the slight lump in his throat. He glanced around almost desperately, raising his voice. "Cas! You get your ass back down here, you son of bitch! Do you hear me? We weren't done! We aren't freaking _done_!"  
He cursed loudly and kicked the chair when he received no response, sending it toppling over with a loud thump. He shook his head slowly, still unable to believe it, unable to process it. He just didn't understand. Was Castiel Jealous? What the _hell_ had he done to stop the angel from wanting to get back together with him?

He slowly turned around as he heard the door opening, Sam slipping in seconds later with a plastic bag in his hand containing some food and drink and a sympathetic expression on his face that told Dean he'd heard at least part of his conversation with Cas.  
"Dean, are you alright?" he asked, causing his brother to turn away. Dean then walked over to his bed and sat down on it, resting his back against the wall and sighing heavily.  
"I'm fine," he said simply as Sam closed the door and moved over to his own bed, looking at him in concern. He sat down and reached into the bag. He slipped out a slice of packaged pie, and a can of soda, handing them to his brother.  
"Thanks, Sammy," the elder Winchester said quietly. He snapped the can open, tactically not looking at his brother. "How much of that did you hear?"  
"Enough to get the general gist of what was going on," Sam admitted honestly, a sheepish and apologetic expression on his face. "Sorry, dude. I didn't mean to, y'know…" Dean dismissed the apology with a wave of his hand. He took a sip of the soda, wishing that he was drinking more whiskey or something. Only, he couldn't be bothered to go and get it and Sam would probably send some major bitchfaces his way, which he didn't currently feel like tolerating.

"You feel like talking about it?" Sam questioned tentatively.  
"No," Dean countered, shaking his head. The younger brother raised his eyebrows, not believing him. Maybe if he just pressed a _little_ further…  
"Sure?"  
"I just don't freaking get it, Sammy! I really don't. I mean what the_ hell_?" The elder brother suddenly growled, sitting forwards and throwing his hands up.  
"You wanna know what I think?" the younger Winchester enquired softly. When Dean raised his eyebrows but gave a wary nod, he carefully begun to explain his view of the situation, not wanting to further upset or anger his brother. "Cas loves you, any fool can see that, but he's got a lot of shit going down now. He probably reckons that you replaced him, that you cast him aside for Lisa."  
"Which I sort of did," Dean pointed out softly, glancing down at the bedspread beneath him with a soft groan. Holy shit. He hadn't thought of it like that. He had literally replaced Castiel. How could he have allowed himself to do that? "Shit, man. Uh…What do I do?"  
"I don't know if you can do anything… From the sounds of what Cas was saying, it's too late dude. I'm sorry," the younger Winchester told him solemnly. He bit his lip as his brother tensed, his expression further dropping. He reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, and was surprised find that he wasn't shrugged off. "Sometimes people…and angels find themselves 'replaced' and they can't do anything about it. Thing is though, the replacement usually isn't as good as the original but by the time this has been realised, it's too late to change anything." Dean finally glanced at his brother, aiming to make his expression impassive but failing. He didn't say anything, because there was nothing for him to say. Sammy was right. It was too late. It was too late for him to change anything.

**AN2: John Bonham was the drummer in Led Zeppelin, he died in like 1980. I honestly didn't know what simile to use. So I spent like 10 minutes trying to find a dead dude from a band that Dean liked. Fail springs to mind. As does fml. This didn't quite go down the road I was expecting, but oh well. Fun times.**


End file.
